Living Together in Ship

Steve and I technically live together on this ship. I have never lived with anyone I was dating before. I always said when I finally moved in with a Fella, we’d have to get a two bedroom apartment –one bedroom for both of us, and one bedroom for escaping to, preferably with a computer and loud stereo system.



The living arrangement Steve and I have would give Virginia Woolf a stroke. If Steve and I need to get away from each other for whatever reason, one of us has to go to a public area, like the gym or one of the dining rooms, or the library, aka the Fart and Nap Room. If we want to get away from each other in the privacy of our own home, one of us can go in the other room. The other room is the toilet.

We can get further away from each other vertically rather than horizontally. If Steve huddled in one corner of the room and I huddled in the opposite corner, we would only be about 6.5 feet from each other. But if Steve were to lie atop our fold out bed (or the “Guest Room”) without unfolding it from the wall, and I were to lie under our actual bed, we’d have approximately 8 feet of space between us.

Travel Scientists* have designed cruise ships such that the living spaces are so small you are forced to spend as much time as possible out of your room. You cannot spend copious amounts of money if you are lying in bed all day. They want you in the casino, drinking $9 cocktails and buying hideous jewelry from the gift shop that you are only buying because you are brainwashed by the fact that it is duty free.

But we live here. We don’t go home after 7 or 8 days. This is our little life.

Luckily, Steve and I haven’t really had many problems. We are very similar in our natural schedules (nap at 4 PM, dinner at 10 PM and hit the hay around 1 AM) and our daily activities (check email, read something, pretend to write, watch a television show on the computer, snack, and repeat). We’ve discovered a few general guidelines that help us deal with our tiny home:

> If something petty is annoying you (like Steve’s chomping on gummy bears or the fact that I will take a nap and set the alarm, but Steve ends up being the one to turn off the alarm) suck it up. There is no escape, and fighting it is a waste of time.

>It is perfectly acceptable for Steve to be watching something on his computer and for me to be watching a different show on my computer at the same time.


>It is not rude for one of us to put on our headphones at any given time, even if the other person is talking. Take the hint.

>We both sleep like drugged up cats. If one of us is snoozing, it will not disturb the other one if you blast the television or set something on fire.

>If you have to go, like big time go, you go to the public bathroom.

We make it work. We genuinely like each other’s company and, above all, respect each other. It’s nice.

But, it will also be nice to be home, where we are only a 4 minute cab ride away from each other.

*Not a real profession.